I like the solution Evil Steve implements on the unfortunate customer.

Fortunately, our checks indicate the 'death grip' has impacted only a small fraction of users and is not as dramatic as the media frenzy has made it out to be.

From a Kaufman Bros. analyst.

My sentiments exactly.

Really hoping the "Gray Powell" iPhone has HD video!

It's the point of being drunk where, having rocketed past Saturn and Neptune, you look back and while streaking past Pluto and into the void slur and say "Looksh like a focking planet to me, pal." It's really, really fucking drunk.